At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
