FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
