Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
