they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
