A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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