yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
