My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
