I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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