i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
