I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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