she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
