Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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