so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
