Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
