Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
