what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
