i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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