Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
