I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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