...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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