Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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