I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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