She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
