shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
