For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
