You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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