Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
