Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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