I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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