remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize