I am spending my child support on dildos
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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