On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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