yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
