i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
