I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
