I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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