I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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