Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You ate ashes out of my bong
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
