What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He? As in you personified your dick?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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