yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
