Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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