I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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