i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
