Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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