The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
