White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
