Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We had to coat check the pizza.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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