why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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