someone threw a dead crab at me
thus making me awesome and them whores
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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