You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
