Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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