She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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