I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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