Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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