I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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