North Korea, Best Korea!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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