Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
