Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
pray to the hookup gods
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
