And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
