East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
