I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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