I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize