hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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